Well...........It's a matter of taste.

A Blonde Joke

A blonde girl was in a car crash. She said to the paramedic on duty "I think I have concussion."

The paramedic asks the blonde "How many fingers am I holding up?"

The blonde replies "Oh fuck, I'm paralysed too."

Proof of Santa's Non-Existence Courtesy Of Ed
1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species
of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are
insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer
which only Santa has ever seen.

2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT,
since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and
Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total-378 million
according to Population Reference Bureau ... At an average (census)
rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes
there's at least one good child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different
time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical).
This works out to 822.6 visits per second.
This is to say that for each Christian household with good children,
Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney,
fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat
whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the
sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million
stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to
be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are
now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles,
not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours,
plus feeding and etc. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles
per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the
fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky
27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each
child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is
carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight.
On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that
"flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot
do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the
payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for
comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance -
this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the
earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules
of energy-per second-each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously,
exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake.
The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa,
meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity.
A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh
by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.
I hope all you children now are thrilled to know Santa doesn't exist, or does he?

NB. I was not involved in any way
in the sums in the above column. I don't
know which retard is,
but he really should get a life!