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Sincere apologies to any blonde girls I may have offended in the publication of these jokes.
If you have a problem, please let me know via the guestbook or my e-mail.
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Make It Off The Island
There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette,
a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to
the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced,
"I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got
really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go
on, so she drowned.
The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it.
I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve."
So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the
brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles,
she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think
I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles,
fifteen miles, and finally nineteen miles from the island.
The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!"
So she swam back.
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Your Child Has Been Kidnapped
A blonde, out of money and down on her luck after buying air
at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash,
she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom.
She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took
her behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a big note saying,
"I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put £5,000 in a
paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides
on the south side of the playground.
Signed, A blonde."
The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home
to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and
sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde
looked in the bag and found the £5,000 with a note that said, "How could
you do this to a fellow blonde?"
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Unlocking The Door
Two blondes were recently observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger.
Here is their dialogue:
Blonde One: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde Two: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder! It's starting to rain, and the top is down!
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